Creatures adapt for survival. A chameleon camouflages itself with its environment. The Viceroy Butterfly shares the colors of the Monarch so predators believe it’s poisonous. And the pufferfish inflates to expose its sharp spines so that they’ll appear less appetizing.
Humans are not exempt from the need to adapt. We associate adolescence, in particular, with peer pressure and the challenges of fitting in. It’s a stage that demands adaptation around how one behaves, dresses, and talks.
That’s why it leaves an impression on me when I hear young people say that they are able to be themselves at UrbanPromise, especially in Camden where the pressures to fit in are significant.
“Everybody wants to fit in. Nobody wants to be too unique because being unique feels like a vulnerability. But at the same time, nobody wants to be a follower either,” notes Brandon Santiago, alum of UrbanPromise and now our East Camden Site Director for after school program and summer camp.
Standing six feet tall with a solid build, Brandon offers perspective, particularly on the pressures put on boys and young men in Camden.
“Showing emotion makes you look weak. You’re supposed to have this tough-guy persona.”
Brandon’s physical stature and basketball skills were likely significant assets during adolescence. He could play the part of a tough-guy when he had to. But Brandon can also be sensitive, kind, and gentle and if he let that side of him show, he could face serious social repercussions.
So, what’s different when kids are at UrbanPromise?
“UrbanPromise creates an environment where kids can actually be themselves… Sometimes you can’t pinpoint one thing—it’s just the whole vibe. It’s a positive environment where people genuinely want to see you grow. Outside of Urban, you’re focused on surviving. Here, people focus on you—your interests, your personality, your future.”
Brandon’s eyes brighten as he talks about some of the kids he works with. He shares about one boy who broke his habit of lying once he realized that wouldn’t get him what he wanted, and now Brandon describes him as “the sweetest kid.” Another camper knew how to push Brandon’s buttons, when what he really wanted was connection. Now, he and Brandon bond over basketball.
Brandon’s ability to be sensitive and gentle is a gift to the children he works with! And what a loss it would have been if adolescent social pressures got the best of him.
We can’t know what the path of each child would be without the UrbanPromise community. When we ask alumni, some give a simple, “I don’t know” and convey relief that they were at UrbanPromise, while others reflect that their lives may have been more like friends who faced serious challenges or ended up incarcerated.
In a place like Camden where the pressures young people face are high, UrbanPromise offers a place where young people can discover, develop, and share all of the good that God created in them.
We are offering a different narrative – one that says every young person is valuable, and that we can find community and relationships that celebrate the attributes that make each person uniquely and wonderfully their own.
This is not a message that can be delivered in one class, a seminar, or even a deeply meaningful conversation. Those would never compete with the social forces at play in adolescence. Instead, it’s a narrative that’s woven throughout our engagement with young people day after day, season after season, year after year.
As we approach the end of another year, we ask that you continue to walk alongside our youth. It matters. It makes a difference.
Your support of UrbanPromise opens opportunities for young people to be themselves, what a gift! Thank you in advance for your generosity.
Merry Christmas!
Lindsey Markelz
VP of Development & Finance
P.S. Brandon was an accomplished basketball player, and although a knee injury interrupted his athletic trajectory, he still uses his skills on the court in remarkable ways as he connects with young people.
